Forget the ridiculous third reason for a moment. Why do there seem to be so many otherwise intelligent people who don’t seem to understand that the vast majority of the time it’s not appropriate to act on your sexual impulses? Literally everyday of the week I work with and walk by women that I am attracted to,…

I want John Waters to be my life coach.

The amazing concept I’ve heard about is where you’re supposed to warn students if you’re gonna talk about something that challenges their values? I thought that’s why you went to college. My whole life has been a trigger warning, but you have been warned. So the trigger warning is in effect, and now back to the…

I, however, will be taking my fiance’s name because I hate my family. Or we’ve talked about making a name up and going with that for the both of us.

Sometimes I think about eating people and even I think this fucked up.

Alex is 300% more whiney than Piper. She’s still constantly whining that she was dumped eight years ago because she called her gf an asshole for not committing a felony. She’s crying about having to be in prison to Nicky (who is also in prison) when she was a hardcore drug trafficker for most of her life. When Piper…

Alex at least seems like she’d throw some decent parties, whereas Piper is all like, “Myeeeeehhhhh myyyyeeehhh myyyeeehhh myyyeeehhhh myeh.” Ugh, I’m getting hives just thinking about her, I wish I could watch an alternate version of Season 3 with Piper censored out.

Weirdly I am ONLY attracted to her when she is playing Alex. Rest of the time it totally goes away. But man, as Alex, with that perfect winged eyeliner, sign me the fuck up.

Matt - you sexy muthfucka. Get in here with your foxy, feminist ass.

If I didn’t read Jezebel I would have no idea who Amber Rose is and I still don’t know what she does.

I once had a table headed by a woman with a very thick Deep South accent and a few missing teeth. Try as I might I could not understand what she wanted to order. To avoid offense, I smiled brightly, explained to the whole table that I was a little hard of hearing, and asked if she wouldn’t mind writing down what she…

I would like to send an order of the crap dip to the table over there. The one with the lady that’s allergic to crunchy and the man that doesn’t know what scrambled eggs are.

Personally I am much more concerned that he was not TREATED. Psychological treatment is is what would keep him from reoffending. Everyone in this situation needed counseling. And shame-based, Xtian “counseling” doesn’t count.

Oh hello 1996.

He’s the guy you sleep with to get him to stop talking.

The idea that he spent 6 months with cops preparing for End of Watch, a movie that literally nobody saw, is just amazing to me.

This reminds me of a guy you’d meet at a bar and you’re thinking to yourself ok, he’s crazy but pretty hot, would I still sleep with him? The answer is always yes.

putting everything else aside, what the hell happened to cameron crowe?