I'm only slightly ashamed to say I'd do the same thing for $250k.

It's just like Lucille said: I'd rather be dead in California than murdered in Arizona with fecal matter and/or curly fries.

Arizona has always been putting the AZ in "crazy".

alternate answer: very carefully.

Wait.. a Pope treating everyone as a child of God, deserving of unconditional love? Blasphemy!

Did you get your $10,000 bounty up front, or is Jezebel sending the check in the mail?

What is it, out of curiosity? My wife was so irritated by hers that we reverted to using paper and pen. LIKE ANIMALS.

His whole TV career was jerking off on camera.

"Back when we were allowed to express ourselves"

"It can still be a date if I order Raisin Bran."

An entry-level position.

I didn't know about this show and now I'm very excited because I want more Chris Hardwick in my life.

I was thinking it would also be useful for announcing you got a new cat.

*Human anatomy is gross and offensive if it doesn't give straight men funny peen feelings.

Off topic but all I could think is I want to use a photo like this to announce I am pregnant. That or a sonogram that is clearly a cat/kitten.

I mean, not to be obtuse here, but it's still not Lena Dunham's responsibility to represent every ethnic group living in the borough with her one half-hour sitcom about four characters. I'm a Russian living in South Brooklyn and I could probably be offended that there isn't a Russian or other Eastern European…

Let's see if my comment can get out of the gray by answering you with it:

Damn, she's 24!? She has her shit together!

I know, right? I felt the same way about the "Paul Walker anonymously buys a couple their dream wedding ring" story. I've never really wanted to be famous but I've always wanted to be able to do things like that for random strangers. My small-scale niceness isn't as satisfying, I want to be someone else's crazy…

My 16 year old cousin was in a children's hospital for 3 months last Spring, and while we didn't have anyone quite "Jennifer Lawrence" famous come visit, I cannot tell you how enjoyable it was when people did PR visits to the hospital (pro surfers, beauty queens, etc.). It REALLY brightened all of the kids day's,…