It’s a shame they kicked both of them off. They could have recreated the famous heist of D.B. Cooper. Give each whatever pocket change the passengers had, tape some pillows to their backs to simulate parachutes, and throw them out the door in flight.

That was excellent. This is one of my favorite gravestones in a similar vein, albeit much more subtle.

The Mazerunner series is a little better, or at least the first installment was. Most of these stories tend to run out of steam because they are just so ludicrously stupid, sort of like finding out Xenu is your savior once you become a Scientologist. Or something.

Honestly, the anti-midget movement is fairly recent and to tell the truth, I don’t follow this specific identity political group very closely. I always understood that midgets referred to little people with proportionately smaller heads and hands, whereas dwarves had larger heads and hands. But please, as a non-little…

That car is racist, I mean they use them in races.

Talk to your lobbyists!

The actors and actresses in the documentary were calling themselves that, so if someone gets offended in 2017, should we bleep the words?

His daughter has her lips so tightly pursed, it’s like she knows he’ll try to slip her some tongue. Urp, just barfed a little in my mouth. Sorry. I need to stop.

I saw an interview with some of the midgets that played the Munchkins and the main thing they remarked about is how amazed they were so many other little people like themselves existed. So they were hooking up left and right. Many of them found future husbands and wives because of the film.

A bullshit bomb threat prank like this can be carried out by one moron. Hopefully that’s what it ends up being and that there was never a credible threat in the first place. So fucking stupid.

Well, a minivan with the seats taken out and a futon mattress is pretty darn swank, son.

“Now the years stack up like old beer cans
Dead end jobs payment plans
Broke down trucks welfare checks
Child support and back-seat sex”

Robert Earl Keen - Undone

Or more effective military management or the lack thereof. I read a fascinating book years ago analyzing the disaster of the Iran hostage rescue mission in 1980, the repelling of the Cuban invasion of Grenada, and some other operations around the world. Even the so-called successful missions were wrought with…

Well, on the sunny side, he’ll be embracing the Void pretty soon.

If you are a registered Democrat, it’s time to elect your new county Chair. You can represent your precinct if the chair position there is vacant. Just get in touch with your local chapter and attend the meetings. Ours in my town is this Saturday. Take back control of your political party and make it what YOU want it…

Says the poop guy.

Just me. It’s called hyperbole. And tell me, is the headline of the article inaccurate? I didn’t write it, now did I? I’m sorry you don’t have any bad memories of me, Mr. Poopybutthole.

We could make her smell your wett farts, too. Sure.

I actually read her quote, but please, want to contribute your own Cliff Notes? In effect, yawn.

Oh, man. If Charlotte had only been a press secretary like that.