It's one of the only Bill Paxton roles where changing him out for Bill Pullman is not a legitimate option.

And then they marry you.

It even has a dumb-as-hell name. Redberry would have been fine.

Here's a little known fact:

The Pineapple is neither a Pine, nor an apple.

She was going to ask him if he should maybe be doing a job more suitable for a fat old stupid white guy, but quickly realized that nope, he nailed it.

Great piece Greg. This shit is just so, so fucked.

who would've guessed Adam Dunn's mom would make a burner account just to defend him on Deadspin!!!1!!1

Tell me more about you not understanding that it's a joke about Adam Dunn.

You know society has hit a new low when the arbiter of intellect is a guy named DickSlaps.

AGAIN?!?!?!?!?!

No. How?

Not really fair to compare this to an NBA dunk contest. Having participants that are only very good at one part of the game, but aren't good enough at any other to compete in the sport at a professional level in the contest would be ridiculous.

I heard Jose Fernandez started using $20 words like that in his post-game comments too, but that Jeffrey Loria traded them for some adjectives to be named later.

Can't really blame Dwight Howard for eating separately from the team anyway. Most places don't serve Happy Meals.

This is the exit for the Cheerleaders right?

Toyota is the perfect sponsor for Red Zone offense, because no matter what you try, they're unstoppable.

So admittedly, you don't get it.

It's 790....

As someone who listens to the show all the time, I have to say that this has never been anything but a joke to Le Batard. His cohost was actually the person (seemingly jokingly) being up in arms about it, and he's the one who bought the billboards with Dan's dad "Papi".

The whole thing has been more of a sort of…

Stupid. I laughed.