Classic Trabek

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"Oh no! Devone Bess is going to get suspended for the Brown's very meaningful game!"

Ostracizing the only people who came to the game seems like a bad marketing strategy. But hey, at least they paid 141.6% more than average!

I would love to see what the draw was three years ago compared to now. I feel like next you they'd be in the green.

The best thing that can happen to you as a Raptor's fan is if Rob Ford sits in your seat. Not only would you get featured on Deadspin, but you'd have an excuse to leave the game early.

Yikes

The Twins are planning on giving him a rocking chair made of broken bats, with a splintered bat-handle sticking straight up in the middle of the seat.

He was obviously just trying to protect Cam Newton from getting shot. Guess he failed.

Best part is the last second when George Costanza's mother asks "DID YOU SEE THAT?"

This is a surprise?

I assume this means that Richie Sexson got 0%.

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$50 says it was Megyn Kelly.

STAY SASSY DEADSPIN!1!1!1!

All Chicken Team:

Bring the Racquets

"What's the big deal? I played the 1993 superbowl on snow."

HEY!