Blue Bell-y

Baskin Blobbins

You're texting his wife about it?

If a bear shits on a jet ski, do you Sea-Doo?

INORITE? Why couldn't he bring those old dead people back to life with whatever he could scrounge together in the airplane? I guess he got that mail-order doctorate in Voodoo from the MacGyver school of medicinal engineering for nothing.

I was going for a phone joke, but...sure?

I think his real problem is that he's starting to have serious problems squeezing into 140 characters.

Just don't ever call Ortiz a phony.

This is hilarious.

I grew up in South Florida, so that old saying that it's "Heaven's Waiting Room" pretty much says it all. Some of those poor old bastards just don't quite make it.

He told me it's because, "It makes the other passengers more comfortable that there is a doctor there."

Haha. Burn.

I know it sounds weird, but we flew a lot, and the big difference between us flying and you flying, is that you immediately forget that happened, and my dad had to sit next to a dead person.

Nothing can touch the time that Jack McDowell and Jack Morris pitched against each other.

My dad's a doctor, and when we were kids, we were on a 3 hour flight and they made that call. He got up and went to the front, and he ended up having to sit next to a dead person for over an hour.

It's no wonder then to discover that his mother is the renowned Boston prostitute, Loretta Drinkwater, who also gained some level of fame in the late 1940's for her own steadfast refusal to flinch at foul balls.

He makes it sound like he wasn't under anesthesia at all, but was instead barking commands and diagramming the surgery for the doctors on a whiteboard.

Not Pictured Off-Screen: Ernie McCracken hitting the reset button.

Marlins' fans are definitely allowed to boo PED users.

Kind of surprised that she went for the exclamation point there, since by her reaction at the end you can clearly tell she's on her period.