I would have also accepted "The square root of -1", since it is an imaginary number.

His police report says something similar:

Is that your answer to the word problem? Because if it is, then you are correct.

Word Problem:

No cartoon stars swirling around his head.

I think I know who that anonymous player is...all he wants is a chance!

Hey, he's bad at football. Get off his nuts.

Lex Luther has experience...

Lex Luther as Coach?

Drafted by the Dolphins in the first round.

Maybe they're doing a story on people who are famous for not being able to do any of the things everyone said they could.

Why is Hulk a guard? Seems like a waste of true talent there.

Are we sure this is an ESPN problem?

Replace "Plastic Man" at safety with Spiderman. The dude has stick 'em built into his fingers, ridiculous jumping ability, and, oh yeah, can sense when something is happening before it does.

If you don't mind having your coffee delivered to you after a quick bathroom stop, I know of an ex-snow cone vendor that's looking for work.

So many haters. So. Many. Haters.

Yeah, I guess that DURRR is on me.

Give this vendor a break.

For me, it's a dad catching a foul ball with his baby's fontanelle or bust.

So, not video taping it?