Please End My Depression And Suffering

Please Excuse My Dumb Algebra Story

It’s absolutely Chandler-esque.

That is a normal collar. Move on, find a new slant.

“Don’t use force, Luke” 

Wow, that’s awful. I hope they catc-

It’s funny to me that this guy equate soccer with socialism, considering soccer, at least in Europe, about as ruthlessly capitalistic as anything. No salary cap, little revenue sharing, etc.

He should have saved the offers, then signed them both at once. Boom...22 years and $550 million!

the Nationals had decided they didn’t want Bryce Harper back. I hope Nats fans keep that in mind.

There are two different configurations of dots for “3"!

He could’ve signed a deal with the Better Business Bureau to be their new pitchman, and kept the tattoo. Its ironic that BBB had a horrible rating with the BBB.

“I don’t know what kind of business you’re in, but I tell ya what, if I was a head of a newspaper, and you didn’t do your job, you’d be held accountable.”

“I don’t know what kind of business you’re in, but I tell ya what, if I was a head of a newspaper, and you didn’t do your job, you’d be held accountable.”

There is no sensible baseball universe in which the Mets should both acquire Realmuto and trade Syndergard away.

Oh, neat, another pyramid scheme.

I bet it would be a better deal if it was just between the Mets and Marlins. If only the Mets had a prospect they could throw in to sweeten the deal. Someone with ties to Florida who could come in and be a savior for that team.

I will never make fun of a child under the age of 11 who brings a glove to a game. It’s part of the magic of being a kid at the field!

Should have been ejected earlier for being a grown man who brings a glove to a ballgame.  

I’m not sure what his or his family members’ football playing status has to do with this, but - yes, the police are the assholes here. He was drunk and made a dumb mistake (while trying to at least be a reasonably responsible drunk idiot, by the way). They could have, you know HELPED him, which is what police are…

“And don’t get me started about how many of them ended up battered.”