Why isn't he hacking semen?? I'd like something in a root beer float flavor.

I'd prefer Fruit Punch. Or Chocolate Milk. As long as it didn't get a spoiled milk smell... Eh, I'll stick with Fruit Punch. Final answer!

Tracy Clayton @brokeymcpovertyFollow

Ugh, can we stop wasting time and resources on arresting people for totally harmless shit?

There's an engineer in my office who I find EXTREMELY attractive, on a really primal level, and all sorts of things about him, which I normally wouldn't find appealing, make me want to drag him into a conference room and screw him on top of a table. He's slightly pigeon-toed, which I find adorable. I like how I can…

Because you will find a decent person out there. I thought I was finished in my early 30s then an old friend came back into my life and we've now been married for 16 years.

Well, that changes everything!

This guy is going to kill someone someday. Heaven help anyone in front of him in line who gets the last cookie or movie ticket.

I wonder if any of the guys in the video know this is on the internet. That's my main question.

I am weeping. I need to know more. Is it an audition? Is it like...Chippendales? Is it porn? So many questions. They weren't all chosen for dancing skill... or penis size. Maybe they were all the ones willing to get naked for a VHS tutorial on stripping? IDK but so many unanswered questions.

Mark's penis-washing choir:

I don't know about you, but I've been looking at the same penis for a long time, so the only fun I can have is living vicariously through the snapchat's of others.

I watched it.... twice... at the dinner table. My husband shamed me so badly. I have no restraint.

For nearly 25 years, my dad was the most widely-read syndicated medical columnist in America. He received over 2,000 letters every week from men, women, and teenagers from across the country and around the world asking for advice.

I embarrassingly went to high school with this fool who, as it seems, is still an asshole. Even in 11th grade he was a sleaze ball who thought he was some über-connected Hollywood hot shot. Puhleeeze.

"Who knows what "Happy Holidays" even means??"

"Trapped inside of every white girl is a strong black woman ready to bust out...the four women will be taking their BWs to learn burlesque, double dutch, African dancing and of course, of course, how to rap.

I don't know what this is. Everything about it is just horrible. Even if she was going for an edgy look it fails.

It's almost as if she isn't married to a black man and doesn't have black child.