Tom, should you focus on his penis when his balls are the real story? I understand the confusion since there’s not a vas deferens between the two.

Take it from a guy who shared an apartment with a [straight] woman he was into (and I knew how I felt before the group moved in together). Believe me when I say I empathize with you. But there are only two possible moves here: Figure out how to let it go, or move out.

“So, what five things do you do to not quite make ends meet?”

I hope you’re in plumbing so you can be a pump pimp.

I estimate, schedule and coordinate field service technicians for on-site repairs of equipment my company manufactures, so sometimes I joke and say I’m a pimp.

This is my problem. Instead of expecting guests to help your people make a living wage, how about you pay them a living wage? Raise the room rate by $3 a day and give it all to housekeeping and then we won’t have to make up for your shitty business practices.

“But the main thing is the city didn’t ask us to become a shelter then.”

Hey guys! I found one!

AND IT’S TAX FREE...AND IT’S TAX FREE...AND IT’S TAX FREE...AND IT’S TAX FREE...AND IT’S TAX FREE...AND IT’S TAX FREE...AND IT’S TAX FREE...AND IT’S TAX FREE...AND IT’S TAX FREE...AND IT’S TAX FREE...AND IT’S TAX FREE...AND IT’S TAX FREE...

Guarantee every red penny will go to “relief.” Relief of the pastor’s fears of not squeezing every last penny out of every last rube he can find.

I encourage you to think about what would happen if someone gave you a week or two to move everything in your home out of harms way. Could you afford it?Where would you go? What if you made minimum wage and were barely paying your bills as is? Could you afford the weeks of lost work? Or the months of lost work…

I strongly endorse that women be able to make decisions about their own bodies, but just as strongly that this guy’s power to do so be taken away.

Scrolling by, I thought that quote read “prolapsed dumpster fires.”

We shop in the boys section. Girls clothes are made of very poor quality cloth and stitching. In the same store you can find heavier weight cloth and better stitiching for boys clothes, and a lot of the time the price is a bit cheaper (or significantly cheaper). In the boys’ sporty section you can get great cargo…

I’m old, so I get into every national park free forever, or at least until I croak. People 62 and older can get a National Park Service Senior Pass for only $10, good for a lifetime. It’s going up to $80 on 28 August, so get yours quick.

Ha, that’s great! Make sure to integrate the Spam story when you sell the movie rights—a little humor to balance the touching Jeep story.

A fun story that didn’t make it into the article:

Opa told my dad, brother and me that the soldier who had given him a ride back in 1945 not only offered chocolate, but also the best Leberwurst (liverwurst) Opa has ever eaten.

It was so good, Opa said, that when he explored the world as a travel agent, he always kept…

Nah, it just thinks it’s worth twice the price because of terroir.