Have you perhaps heard the term “apologist” before?

Have you perhaps heard the term “apologist” before?

Most overt sexism I ever witnessed was my first day on the job in legal for a large telecom. One of the senior counsels was *throwing paperclips at the cleavage of his legal secretary.* When he missed, he’d say “damn... honey, you need to bend over more next time.”
This woman was in her early 40’s. I was too stunned…

She’s one of the reasons the “women wearing pants is socially acceptable” thing happened at all.

But why are they all chasing #9 (who was not the guy that got kicked by 3 separate guys.)

Yes. Yes it should.

I actually did throw up on a co-worker's shoes once because she told me that if I "just tried not to think about it" it would go away.
I probably could've turned away. But I didn't. I'm still a little evilly gleeful over it 12 years later.

They didn't? Because I can't figure out what it is supposed to be if it isn't a sandwich.

Exactly what I was trying to fit into words. Those shoes look like she has effectively hobbled the models. The one in the two-piece outfit looked like she was concentrating so hard on not falling off the shoes because she might hurt herself terribly that I wanted to save her.
The shoes made the fashion look like it was…

Except they are credible and they aren't looking at them.
See, the part where you talk about "feelings" is completely disingenuous.
If you want to talk about rights? Let's talk about that "right to be secure in your home and person" because your founding fathers totally believed in that.

I have friends I've had for decades who ask me if I've been talking to my family again when I call to confirm events I went through. Because they know that me calling and saying "you remember when X happened to me, right?" is the result of my bringing up something and being met with blank stares or flat-out denials.
You…

But you're *not* a somewhat neutral observer. You're a very biased observer. You've even said that you have no idea why they've chosen to do this.

"...anyway, i ask my nephews how they would feel if their daughters did to them what they're doing to their mother and for whatever reason they can't bring themselves to…

I believe you because there are so many of us who have been in the same position. It's not that no one will believe you, it's that only people who have been in your shoes will. Because we've been on that side of the equation and had people look us in the eye and ask why we are lying.

It's the absolute conviction with…

You need to find a way to draw that boundary sooner rather than later. Otherwise you'll find yourself saying "well, I'm partially responsible because I never told him I wouldn't be there for him..." or worse, he'll say that and it will sit in your heart.

Children aren't retirement plans. He chose to have kids, you…

I've always kind of liked being born in the 'overlap' years of the mid-60's. No one really wants to claim us as part of their 'Generation Fill-in-the-Blank' group.
My parents were early 'Boomers, so I don't identify with their generation.
But yes, the narcissism seems overly prevalent there. Vagnoni epitomizes it. "My…

Exactly. It's not a decision we make without trying many, many times to "fix" a relationship that isn't just broken, it's toxic.
I made the same choice but end up doing the 'limited contact when other family members insist' strictly to minimize the damage that comes from other people insisting that I will miss their…

Good to know it's not just me - even if we are probably a small Venn (Vin?) diagram here.
Never really been into the 'muscle bound' kind of guy - but both of them have that goofball, I-don't-take-myself-too-seriously, humorous and smart, ergo sexy thing.
And yeah, Vin's admission to being a huge D&D player in high…

It's not much of a help - but tell your sister to consider moving her phone number to Google voice. http://www.google.com/googlevoice/ab…
That way she can keep the established "networking" number, get a new mobile number and forward/screen calls from the old one to keep the trolls and whackos away.
It's not a solution,…

I knew it would follow my forever if I didn't, though I'm still terrified it'll get traced back to me someday, and the people I love whom I've been able to hide it all from will find out.

On the "homonormative" and "heteronormative" front - which bar is supposed to be safe for women?
The phrase "Well no, not really; my vulnerability doesn't take a fucking night off" in the OP's comment resounds particularly in this point. In either type of bar, she is apparently supposed to be okay with being…