The only thing I can figure is he failed the drug test. And by that I mean he failed to give drugs to the judges.

Thanks man! I guess I'll stick to being the Peoples Champs

Doctors refuse to treat NASCAR driver because "NASCAR drivers don't understand our profession."

If ever there was a superfluous first word, this was it.

Well he's kind of right. There's an inverse relationship between understanding Nascar and years of education/# of degrees attained.

Unfortunately, the band was not Nickelback.

Another Bob Costas disaster: Shelves.

After his retirement from stadium architecture, Leitch went on to a career as a silent film critic, although he rated most of the films as 'bollocks.'

These guys are pretty bad. But let's be honest, Matt Schaub has had the worst picks of anyone.

Haider Zafar's other business partner, Luvvr Upclohs, was, in fact, a suitable partner and the yin to his yang.

Meanwhile, Russia swears they have the most straight one.

So, take us through the piss test. You pee naturally with someone watching? Or is it harder... [chuckles] I mean is it not as easy to urinate with someone watching? Did they run through the rules before hand or are they like coaching you through the process? What if you sit down to pee normally? Do they make you…

i haven't seen Newton that scared since campus security stopped by his dorm room.

My Obamaphone is working though, so it all evens out.

Great moments in White People history

SKYLER. I did all of this—demeaning my players, blowing fourth-quarter leads, creating a toxic environment—for you and the kids. I did it for the FAMILY

It's Gandalf!

This is where I'd ordinarily make a clever joke about Drake, and how out of place he is, but since I didn't have Nickelodeon growing up, I don't know who the hell he is.

"Great, the one bachelorette party where there's not at least one token gay dude, and I'm all up in the middle of it."