You know who else wants to know? Cubans.

Because he coaches the Redskins.

To be fair, it is true that he's never been schooled by anyone.

South Carolina has actually made the same decision, and, let me tell you, it looks hella unnatural seeing the Gamecocks without game balls.

What?

Why do I have to take sides? Can't the NCAA be greedy AND Johnny Manziel be a total jackass?

So Marte accepted it (presumably in exchange for something nice)

What's really sad is the one on the left forgot he was supposed to be pitching.

ALTERNATE ENDING

Details aren't clear, but this appears to be an agreement between Texas A&M.

I'm disappointed that Rodriguez didn't showcase his best move, which was the ability to find work after his stint at Michigan.

You're being trolled, dear.

Braun is sorry that he cheated. He's guilty of loving the game too much.

Needs more scissoring.

I think that's the technical term for this pattern.

Wow, well isn't this ironic. Now Douglas is like my Uncle Tom, who's an unemployed alcoholic.

You're all wrong. Those were clearly short trousers, not trousers. He was de-short-trousered.

More like the Wannagrabher Trophy, amirite?

That's great for West Chicago. But over on the South side, 147 shots in 5 minutes is actually pretty standard.