Did the stuntman also eat that woman’s kayak?

Twenty six years from now, I will be in a chainsaw fight, in a the classiest brass and marble gladiator hoping to win 24 cans of Beefaroni. As the crowd shouts “Your fired!” and I sigh as I decapitate another poor wastelander, I will look back at the time when the Trump presidency seemed ridiculous and could joke…

Excuse me, “among the Republican candidates”. It was implied...unless you know something very special about another candidate.

Carly’s in such a weird spot. As the only woman candidate, she can easily differentiate herself by supporting women’s causes. Trouble is, those are seen as progressive issues and she can’t use them. This whole Planned Parenthood fantasy is the only hook she has. Otherwise, all she can do is echo what everyone else is…

I think this works better as the “Legion of Doom”. Get IO9 on that.

Now, think about all the people that have to drive an additional 20 miles to get groceries, yet somehow blame Obama.

It’s by the Target; look for the American flag. If memory serves, it was also built on a Superfund site that was probably never cleaned up.

Well, the Palisades Center Mall in Nyack, NY was built pretty much right on top of a slave cemetery. This is what life is like now.

Now I want to find out where he lives, then drive up and down his street at night blasting the buzzing sound of a predator drone over a loud speaker. You know, make him even more paranoid.

Serious question. If she goes to jail and we find out where it is, can we open a Kickstarter and raise money to pay inmates to do horrible things to her? Is that legal? Can we have stretch goals like “$200 - two inmates, 10 minute beating”

From what I understand, the first side of the record is each member of Wu-Tang calling the owner a sucker and asshole for paying all that money for it. Side two is just all of them silently smoking weed for 30 minutes,

As horrible as Trump is, at least he made sure that Jeb will never get elected as president.

There’s a whole Tumblr dedicated to her hairline.

Now I wonder how many people have died thinking “I’ll be fine, I saw this on Fox News”.

We need to reinforce in civics classes that the average voter is a moron who votes against their own best interest all the damn time.

This is all part of Fox’s strategy to act like Trump for more viewers.

I figured it out. The exclamation point in Jeb! is a man plummeting with a comic book speed line behind him.

Every time I see this guy, I think he’s actually Roger from American Dad.

After “Jeb can fix it”, his advisers also suggested “He is smart” and “He will make us go.”

To be clear, this is a character from the Absolutely Fabulous reboot, right?