The GWB is like a billion percent worse because pedestrian traffic was an afterthought.

What are the odds that something’s going to collapse catastrophically and the government blames ISIS?

They do have a point. If there was no internet porn, we would not know who Kim Kardashian is.

I would like to think that the Trump campaign is going to revolutionize Thanksgiving dinners. Relatives that you either avoided or were never invited will keep falling deeper into the rhetoric, realize that they were wrong or even disgusted by what they have seen and say “Enough is enough”. Perhaps they will see the…

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Oh god my fanfic is really happening!!!

They could have hired some Wakaliwood people.

Thank you. Could you please do an article on backpack etiquette next?

Looks like there’s a 500 Days of Lauren ahead of us.

Rubio’s like that kid in grade school who just found a “1000 Jokes and Put Downs” book and thinks he’s Don Rickles. Kind of sad, really.

I feel bad for her neighbors. Imagine picking up all of those hot dog wrappers on your lawn. Also you’re pretty sure there’s jizz in one of them.

Nickleback’s still OK though?

Someone print then preserve that group photo. It’ll be our civilization’s Rosetta Stone to alien archaeologists in ten thousand years.

Appropriate animals instinctively know where to go.

The pig clip makes me miss The Soup.

A single mom who works two jobs reads that article on a cracked cellphone while the bus she’s on sits at a red light, and quietly sighs.

Weird. I honestly expected a menstruation comment long before a spanking one. Good job, Chris!

“Tom Patton from Strongsville” sounds like a character from a Chuck Tingle “Pounded in the Butt” story.

Worse yet, imagine getting push notifications from every electronic item you own. It will happen.

First Abe Vigoda and now this?!?!