Stupid GIF won't work. I'm just getting a bunch of random images playing in the background, but the picture of Ellen isn't changing. Er, no wait. It's just a static image of Bill Simmons I mean.

"On my counsel's advice, I invoke my right under the Fifth Amendment not to answer, on the grounds I may incriminate myself."

Baltimore Ravens: "The 15 year-old boy deeply regrets the role he played during the incidents."

And she's okay with the teenage boy thing? You have a strong marriage.

At that point, she told him to come back later but he did not go back.

If there's anyone who knows something about cheap shots, it's LaGarrette Blount.

ESPN has suspended McHenry indefinitely and will cooperate fully with the NCAA as it investigates these amateurism allegations.

Hating your job's HR department is as American as apple pie, big trucks, and getting upset because they can say that word but I can't.

Nice punctuation, guy.

He's fulfilling her Catholic schoolboy fetish.

I'm sure these assholes think they're cool, but all I see is a bunch of squares.

Mr. Waters used this as a recruiting tool. After viewing it, he immediately got a tromboner.

I'm going to t-row up.

Sorry if all you babies who've never lived in a world where you can't find anything you ever need right at your fingertips with the internet don't like it, but some of us actually still appreciate 'Traffic & Weather on the 9s'.

Man, if you're confused about something the absolute worst place to turn to is Twitter.

Let me simplifiy this for you: It is dumb for any grown man or woman to Tweet.

Bridgewater: Two things Christian Ponder couldn't hit if he fell out of a fucking boat.

Those pulled pork cheese fries look great! Served with a defibrillator.

Ultimate responsibility for the health and safety of our student-athletes resides with each team's coach and with me, as the Director of Athletics. We are committed to continuously improving our procedures to better protect the health and welfare of our student-athletes.