The highlights from their wheelchair basketball games are going to be even better.

Where the fuck are the Washington Generals, under the water?

Well, you just knew that the nation of Haiti's luck would run out at some point.

C'mon, Dom. You're better than making something out of an innocuous comment like that.

From TheJetsBlog.com, here's moderator Bent's description of the origin of this "story," originally posted 1 month ago:

By "change-of-pace" QB are you sure they don't just mean one that can complete passes to his receivers?

ENOUGH WITH ATHLETES AND THEIR TATTOOS.

If you're a Russian player of any worth, why would you ever stay in the NHL?

Goddamn. That kid is straining the newborn sized diapers. Already big enough for stage 2.

I haven't seen an overweight Cessna ruin a vagina like that since Aaliyah.

That's a cute little Cessna, but after the delivery, mom is probably wishing she'd bought a hanger for her a few months ago.

"She is rather large and we're going keep her overnight for observation, but I see no reason to say that your daughter can't someday shop at Wal-Mart in a giant fucking Tweety Bird t-shirt."

Though the clip was cut off, they slso identified one of the 2 dead as 16-year old Oh No Truk.

"And now here's a word from our newest sponsor, Sofa King: Where their prices aren't just low, they're Sofa King low!"

Where he says he's coming up with a scheme to "blow up the Patriots."

All the bigots are gonna lose their shit when they find out Aboushi is planning to spend the rest of the summer at some kind of "training camp."

This shouldn't be confused with the NFL's "Palest Indian" problem, which involves every "Chief" the league has trotted out to support the Redskins name.

"What's up, MOM?! EAT SHIT, MOM!"

More like Il n'y a pas Kovalchuk now!

Who performed the first musical number?