+1 awkward situation between friends at the welfare store

It’s not that he’s lazy...it’s that he just doesn’t care

Only replying to submit that I wish you’d added “rent-a-car” to the end of your handle

Beat his ass? Nah...more subtle to just show him the boots in a ruck (or several)...as my old Welsh coach used to say, “THAT’S WHY GOD GAVE YOU ALUMINIUM”

Yep, we had the same conversation about 2015 sucking last year...as if the arrival of a different calendar year will flip a switch and it’ll be all sunshine, high-fives, and blowjobs all around in 2017.

Go google “Craig Sager wardrobe,” and the style of the shoes might make a little more sense to you. But even if you don’t and/or it doesn’t, get back to work; the owners aren’t paying you to comment on deadspin.

“Super Extreme DUI” . . . carries automatic jail time.

I didn’t know it was possible to turn “Man, it sucks to work on Christmas, huh? You shouldn’t have to.” into a 200+ word stream of consciousness

people forget that

I was working at an Enterprise Rent-A-Car (shut up) during the Colts-Bears super bowl when Rex Ryan came in to pick up a rental. Our manager had thought all day that we were fucking with him when a reservation came up for R. Ryan under the Jets corporate account and he’s a huge Jets fan...if only we’d thought of…

And the voters will instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano

I live in Chicago, am a Cardinals fan, and hate the Cubs. Worse still, I live about a mile from Wrigley. I am quite literally surrounded by these people.

bruh

It’s not your fault

“Who needs a slogan when you’re running against THIS fuckin’ guy?”

His would be more along the lines of “this is my BOOM STICK”