Yo yo yo, chums! Here’s to some informal social activities sponsored by your hip-to-the-jive employer! There will be rock music, light refreshments, and entertainment in the form of electronic and physical media!

Avid wine drinker, but not super douchey about it. All you ever need to know about wine tasting:

Well, you don't want to take any chances when you cork.

No shit. I was a clumsy kid and walked into a coat rack in like second grade, you would think I hit a god damn artery. The school nurse was horrified and thought I was the victim of some assault.

-also the son of the “DIG DIG DIG DIG DIG!!” Dad and the nephew of the “LET EM PLAY UMP” drunken uncle

Your last point is my hangup. I know new world wine varietals like the back of my hand, but regularly fuck up the old world. So I end up ordering a lot of port.

To add to this: if the wait staff makes you feel bad, then they suck at their job.

Most people don’t know what’s good when they are ordering it, but I guarantee you if you put barefoot next to a medium production wine, a small-lot, and a micro family-owned sort, you could taste the difference.

That “old vine” vs. “ancient vine” vs. regular vine is a widely-regarded crock of marketing BS for the zinfandel varietals.

this is why the somm asks to taste it first

Really dependent on the type you get. It’s one of the “heavier” whites, and can be a bit like drinking liquid popcorn.

Israel is where the wine grape started, according to some dude who did a wine tasting for my family once.

Maybe the local children are afraid of you because of that painting

-1 Ramsay Bolton mandible

Varys: Farewell, Tyrion, for I must now go do something that I do in the fifth book

The dogs... Michael Vick... Eagles. It all makes sense.

In any Wawa I’ve ever been in, I have had reasonable suspicion that the people behind the sandwich counter were packing more heat than any customer ever could

Conversely, I believe anyone that orders something called “chicken fries” deserves to have several warning shots fired in their direction.

Always gotta respect the caulk option.