Jon Gruden: See, this guy right here. He’s a guy I like to call “Brokey McFuckstick”, because I make around 40% more annually than-

The density of takes in this one meme is approaching Neutron Star level

Also, after half of our country SECEDED from the country they supposedly loved so much. Because they couldn’t, you know, keep owning people to be used as farm equipment.

More from Curt:

Stupid fall, with it’s stupid coldness, and stupid leaves, and stupid rain. Why can’t it just fuck off?

“No sympathy here” is just another way of telling the rest of us that you’re an asshole. Not having compassion, even for people that cause their own problems, is not a virtue. But thanks for the heads up.

His deal didn’t offer $17 million in guaranteed money. It does not offer that much guaranteed in the future. Most of his future salary is not guaranteed - if he sucks this year or if the team just decides they can’t afford his contract under the cap, they can just cut him and be released of most of their financial…

2015 AFC SOUTH PARTICIPANT

They won’t be able to repeat as AFC Finalists if they keep this up.

He looks stupid and lies about his bald spot. Period. And he should walk into Lake Michigan with rocks in his pockets.

I’d be happier if spending 250 million to build the Bucks’ new arena sunk his campaign. But that’s the “fun” Socialism that conservatives don’t seem to mind.

If you’re never coming back, how can Albert suck your dick? It's not like he’s leaving Gawker for IJReview or WesternJournalism.

*Half a dozen grayed-out commenters who Went To College Once come marching in, rambling something about about ad-hominems and Sticking to Sports and bias*

Joe Maddon is a worthless fucking piece of shit. He can go fuck himself.

Still no commentary from Deadspin on the Pirates starting shortstop getting injured on a possibly-illegal slide. Maybe if his name were “Buster” instead of “Jung-ho” people would give a shit.

I can’t think of many managers less qualified to say “we don’t start stuff but we stop stuff” than Joe Maddon. He spent most of his time in Tampon Bay trolling the rest of the AL East, while his team was irrelevant.

Damn, Joe’s pretty fired up! I don’t blame him though. Any manager would be pissed if his just-off-the-DL power hitter gets beaned in the head the day after his shortstop receives a season-ending takeout slide.

Maddon’s being a bit of a hypocrite here considering all teams do it.

Well I sure hope Rob Manfred lays the hammer down on the Cardinals before this retaliation concept becomes some kind of common occurrence.

“I don’t want to (start) the fight there by acting like a punk,” Maddon said. “I don’t want us to take a page out of ‘Major League’ and flamboyantly flip a bat after a long home run. I don’t want that at all, that has nothing to do with us ascending. I would even like to use this moment even for our minor-league guys…