If you find yourself yearning for OS 9, seek help immediately. (OS 7, on the other hand, I totally understand.)

Android users are the Old People on Facebook of technology article comment sections.

I must say, I do love it when manchildren have total meltdowns over tablets and phones. What do you do in a real crisis? Just start biting people?

Love these photos. That iPad Mini 3 is gorgeous!

Alternate headline: "Self-identifying, parent-dependent millennial giving life advice while telling everyone how special she is may be the most millennial thing ever"

Already did. No regrets.

I'd wager even fewer people are willing to put up with silliness like this.

Sure, why not? The difference with a preorder is that I'd at least have an order locked in instead of having to beg around for an invitation that allows me the amazing privilege of buying their phone. I'd have to have waited my turn either way.

No interest in a phone that treats its would-be customers like cattle with continuous stunts like this. Best of luck to the cows who want it, though.

Yeah. I never left my house before TouchID, because I didn't want anyone to see the TOTAL EMBARRASSMENT that is this smaller-than-dime-sized button on my telephone.

Every CNN employee has just been called in to work. All hands on deck!

Yep, this is the first and only coverage I've seen anywhere of Yosemite's release! Crazy!

I couldn't care less what they (or, for that matter you) think of me. Most people feel the same way I do. I like the products I like and I use them well. I don't need to be able to play dollhouse with my home screen to feel like a power user. Is that okay with you? And if not, can you find a way to get over it?

It must be tiring telling people all the time how much you don't like Apple.

What I don't understand is why people who hate Apple comment in every single story about Apple on the entire Internet. Could you explain that one to me?

That's Yosemite's version of Spotlight.

You're right. This tech site should just ignore this tech story, lest it make fandroids cry.

To the contrary, with the hellacious week Snapchat is having, I'd say Qik arrived right on time.

Not if you enable two-factor authentication, which surely you have by now right?

I think the "BEST YEAR EVER" banner is a great commentary on how, if I was attending college in 2014, I'd only be able to afford one year of tuition before having to drop out. But it would be the best year ever!

I think the "BEST YEAR EVER" banner is a great commentary on how, if I was attending college in 2014, I'd only be…