Nah. It's Donnie Darko all the way.

Diva Plavalaguna’s step sister.

I’ve got your back Pinkham. Peppers are slimy booger bombs just lying in wait inside perfectly respectable food.

Because 99% of people in New Orleans would say exactly the same thing. Go read up on the St. Rita's Nursing Home deaths and tell me which group of people deserve to be shamed.

Most people only know the toned down Aaron Neville version - last time I heard that song performed live (with the original lyrics), people were accusing the singer of being a racist. Shit. People are assholes. Glad I'm not one.

And no kidding? People in New Orleans are STILL angry about that book. That and Dennis Hastert’s “suggestion” that the city be bulldozed still make people's heads explode.

Yup. PB&J's or nothing. She won't eat the school lunch either, though, so at least it's not just me.

That's exactly what I was thinking. You might as well give them a pocket full of lead bb's on the way out the door.

As if my daughter would eat any of that rabbit food! No kidding, the only thing she'll agree to eat on a regular basis is a PB&J or individual Babybel cheeses. Yeesh.

Welp, that is LITERALLY better than nothing. But that's it.

Turns out you can impeach them, but sometimes you still can't make them leave! Who knew there were such glaring loopholes in the law!

Nope. But I'm sure they could've found one to wrassle an alligator for them.

YOUR FAULT. I just spat my crappy expired hard-as-a-rock pretzel out onto my keyboard. All the stars to you!

YOU SHOULD BE! It gave me a sincere snicker.

I'm just waiting for someone to start blaming: 1) Violent movies, 2) Violent video games, 3) Violent rap lyrics (but not rock, because that's all-amurrican), 4) Mental health issues (because while the shooter wasn't white, he was apparently a middle class black guy who can probably slip in under the mental health…

Ugh. Sorry. Stupid assumption.

A lady near where my cousin lives puts raw meat out... to feed vultures. Her neighbors aren't too thrilled, but there you are. On the other hand I don't think she wears a black cloak when she does it.

Nightmare fuel.

Actually, I think that means that she DID up her medication.

That’s what I call Capital N Narcissism. It’s way bigger and meaner than the “aren’t I pretty?” variety.