Pictured: Oompa loompa taking a break next to gobstopper display.

Sorry, but Bode Lubbers saturated this market a few years ago.

Not surprising, as he's always had a wandering eye..

There's no one who expects reporters to wear a suit and tie

This makes finding Heidi Watney's replacement just a little less interesting.

+ 1 vasectomy

Sandusky: Here, kid. Drink up

Judge: Mr. Sandusky, please do not slouch...

It's really too bad Jason Robards is dead

Okay, well, riddle me this: How is 85 year old grammy a "lifelong fan" of a franchise that's been in existence for a crisp 16 years?

Aching Lumbar, Andy Reid Says He's Coaching The Worst Football Of His Career

Let's see the post-beating photo. Oh, that is the photo? Shit, I assumed those are meth scars!

If anyone knows tough knuckles, it's Officer Mirabelli.

Jerry Angelo: Hey, Brett! Jerry Angelo here. I'll get straight to the point: we need a quarterback - you interested?

Dan and I were even sharing a computer.

At least now they can update Total Long Term Liabilities to Jose Reyes

Is that his mug shot? If so, it appears he changed clothes before the arrest.

Rosenthal choked on his dinner when he heard the news.

I spend the winter wrapped in a blanket of shame

60 Minutes is must see television when Lara Logan is featured. She could interview a mailbox and I'd find it COMPELLING. Seriously, though, her accent-looks combo is tough to beat.