From what I here, the proofreader at Deadspin is also semi-conscious.

Is that Peter King’s burner? 

he went on a little tangent about how, actually, it was not a scuffle

Re: Walking,

Jesus, man. This is harrowing. Like everyone else in the comments, I’m glad things didn’t go differently.

I don’t understand why he didn’t wait until June 9th to announce this.

You could write for Inadequate Man

How tall are you if your towel hook is eye level?

Your gifs are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter

Great. Last time someone on the Jets blew up a Patriots mascot we got 18 fucking years of Tom Brady....

if it’s anything like the Nats’ usual approach to game theory, they’ll be unable to get past the first round

Man, I was really hopeful when he got traded that he’d be able to sort out his life. The Patriots organization is usually the best at providing the proper structure and support to help players violate league rules without getting caught.  

My elderly grandmother is in the hospital and we don't know how much time she has left, and we don't even talk about her long life and stories as if she is not making a comeback. This is getting serious and though I understand the need for privacy, they are creating anxiety around here and working people up, as if…

I cannot fucking STAND the entire staff giving eulogies for Drew in public fora like this without giving us one shred of detail or allusion to what is or could be happening

The more praise for Drew I see in these columns, the more I worry. 

“Pats are always thielen calls at home.”

we’ll update with his condition, but it’s safe to assume he’s got a concussion at the very least.

Girlfriend is a consultant; it is a real tension point when she talks about work and I have to not explode in rage.

Let me get that deck by end of business, I’d like to see a 50,000 foot view to outline the strategic priorities. Don’t try to boil the ocean here, some back of the envelope math should work just fine but we will need to do a deep dive later. I have a hard stop at 6 so I would like to review it by then, in fact, maybe…

Meanwhile, a 23 year old kid will be suspended for most of the season for being a 23 year old kid.