Right now, the man the GOP has nominated for a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court is shrieking about shadow conspiracies and retribution. Just a model of sober-minded jurisprudence on display. 

Raw is *seen* as the A-show, but for in-ring entertainment, you’re far better off watching Smackdown.

“Derp derp derp people who watch Fox News watch Fox” comments are among my least favorite things on the internet, because they make no sense.

If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

Before kickoff yesterday, guy walked through the bar with a sign that read, Tom Brady Gives Uncomfortably Long Kisses on the Lips to His Son.

I hope to god you are bare chested as you typed this

Incredibly bummed this isn’t just Magary in his living room in an ill fitting polo and cargo shorts screaming his head off and scaring his children.
Not mad, just disappointed.

ARBY’S! My favorite place to eat in all of the world. I absolutely love Arby’s.

“Men. MEN. I have returned to this fine city, much like Godzilla once again returning from the sea to consume all in a GLORIOUS fireball. And like Godzilla, I will be consuming all the Fireball and chicken wings within a five-block radius of the stadium. And then, like Godzilla teaching Godzooky in the art of being a…

You blew a once in a lifetime headline.

Nick Saban has responded by spending 20 minutes silently assembling a rifle in front of his players while wearing a T-Shirt that reads “FUCKING TRY IT.”

Thank you. Drew is wrong. Any bride who asks any of her or her future husband’s closest friends to alter their physical appearance for her pictures is an asshole of the highest order. This also goes for asking people to lose weight or cover tattoos. Your wedding party is supposed to be composed of your best friends.…

Also, terrible way to start your life with someone, intentionally creating a riff between your new husband and his best friend.

Bridezilla will take my beard off my cold dead face. you can tell your groomsmen / maids what to wear but you ask them to trim, not get rid of, a defining facial feature.

My brother went to school in New England and after the Boone HR in the 2003 ALCS, he found his car keyed to shit in the morning because it had Jersey plates. Adding insult to injury, my brother is a Mets fan.

I had a similar experience once in Boston—had my back window smashed out and my Yankees license plate frame ripped off while my car was in a public garage.

I know a Pats fan whose GF dropped him like a hot rock when he wept like a child after the Helmet SB. I mean I’d get it if the guy was, say, a Vikings fan or something but come on, they already had THREE SB titles under their belts. Fucking front-runners.

Worcester is a cesspool. It’s Boston Light if that were to mean all the shit things about Boston, but with none of the historical charm or touch of modernity.