Counterpoint: It’s just a word. He didn’t mean it to belittle or diminish anyone. It wasn’t meant aggressively, not towards the senator, or to any black person. Not that I would ever use that word, it’s the only swear I can’t use, but as George Carlin taught us it only has power over us if we let it.

If you’re looking for that sort of thing I’d recommend Salvia Divinorum. You will completely dissolve into the hallucinations of your subconscious. It should not be undertaken lightly. My trip lasted 5 minutes but it felt like hours went by. It was like walking into a Beatles album and melting.

I knew a guy who got spores in the mail and grew his own. He was a brainy guy. I wouldn’t attempt it myself. They’re extra gross to eat fresh. At least when they’re dry I can choke them down but when they’re all chewy and moist. Yuck.

This is a fantastic joke with not enough stars.

I have always wondered about that. I assume she wears knee pads and gloves though. Maybe a hat? But would you want your probably immaculately groomed doodles out there for any insect to climb on? That sounds awful.

I kind of agree with you but to a degree. I’d be willing to sell out my values but I’d need to get something big in return. I don’t know how to put price on that when it comes to trade deals, but I’d kill babies if I could deactivate every nuclear weapon in the world.

To be fair if Lincoln was a real estate speculator instead of wasting his time teaching himself to be a lawyer he could have saved so many lives by avoiding civil war. Sad.  

Well if to be fair if he’s an actual doctor from Texas he’s probably more of a dentist or a barber armed with whiskey and Laudanum.  

What? Tennessee not good enough for you?

I read this book in the early 90s and I’ll tell you what I think. I scoffed at it back then, before the Christians came. It’s a whole lot more believable nowadays. I just assumed everyone saw through their bullshit.

Never underestimate the perversion of a sexually repressed man. Well anyone, I guess, but mostly men.

I’m male but I’ve always chosen women doctors on purpose. There are a lot of good side affects, all mentioned here, but that’s just gravy for me. Women have smaller fingers, so when she plunges it into my prostate exam it doesn’t hurt as much.

She made that “on Bill O’Reilly the show” joke on Wait Wait last week but it’s so funny it deserves another telling. Laughter is O’Reilly kryptonite. Trump too, for that matter.

Ha. I toured the capital building last spring and walked through the statue gallery. The first statue was good old Robert E Lee. Being from Massachusetts I blurted out “why would they put that traitor in here”? The room became slightly more tense. I could tell the guy in front of me was kind of pissed, but how is he…

Tell that to the Queen’s Guard (and their bear skin hats).

She looks beautiful and strong. I know a kid who was born around 20 weeks and change and she’s a perfectly happy healthy 5 year old now. Good luck, the odds get better every day. Thank god we have all this amazing technology and hospitals and doctors and nurses.

I swear in a modern world where men never have to test themselves fighting bears or battles capitalism has stepped in as a kind of artificial masculinity. It’s funny because these are just the kind of over emotional guys who would have run in and been eaten or killed immediately.

Sorry man. You enjoy sticking to the coffee tobacco and whiskey that the government so generously lets you have. That shit’ll fuck up your body. I’m going to go with what’s safe. Cannabis, mushrooms, mescalin. Maybe MDMA or LSD on rare occasion. Stuff you don’t need to do every morning to get to work.

Ha. My wife trained me long ago to keep my mouth shut.