I knew a guy who got spores in the mail and grew his own. He was a brainy guy. I wouldn’t attempt it myself. They’re extra gross to eat fresh. At least when they’re dry I can choke them down but when they’re all chewy and moist. Yuck.

This is a fantastic joke with not enough stars.

Counterpoint: my wife learned about how sex happens when she saw a bunny orgy in the back yard. I’m not advocating it, I’m just saying it’s not that big a deal compared to a lot of other people’s experiences like seeing two homeless people going at it. (Like me! That was an awkward ride home.)

This is such a modern urban sentiment. Anyone who grew up on a farm knows how the plumbing works. Is this any grosser than watching to horses do it? Can’t you just say yuck and walk away? What’s the big deal?

Plus it’s not a bad idea to wipe your machine and reinstall every once and a while. Cuts the fat.

I have always wondered about that. I assume she wears knee pads and gloves though. Maybe a hat? But would you want your probably immaculately groomed doodles out there for any insect to climb on? That sounds awful.

I kind of agree with you but to a degree. I’d be willing to sell out my values but I’d need to get something big in return. I don’t know how to put price on that when it comes to trade deals, but I’d kill babies if I could deactivate every nuclear weapon in the world.

To be fair if Lincoln was a real estate speculator instead of wasting his time teaching himself to be a lawyer he could have saved so many lives by avoiding civil war. Sad.  

Well if to be fair if he’s an actual doctor from Texas he’s probably more of a dentist or a barber armed with whiskey and Laudanum.  

What? Tennessee not good enough for you?

I read this book in the early 90s and I’ll tell you what I think. I scoffed at it back then, before the Christians came. It’s a whole lot more believable nowadays. I just assumed everyone saw through their bullshit.

Never underestimate the perversion of a sexually repressed man. Well anyone, I guess, but mostly men.

I’m male but I’ve always chosen women doctors on purpose. There are a lot of good side affects, all mentioned here, but that’s just gravy for me. Women have smaller fingers, so when she plunges it into my prostate exam it doesn’t hurt as much.

She made that “on Bill O’Reilly the show” joke on Wait Wait last week but it’s so funny it deserves another telling. Laughter is O’Reilly kryptonite. Trump too, for that matter.

You’re not a real Doctor until you have one of these:

Ha. I toured the capital building last spring and walked through the statue gallery. The first statue was good old Robert E Lee. Being from Massachusetts I blurted out “why would they put that traitor in here”? The room became slightly more tense. I could tell the guy in front of me was kind of pissed, but how is he…

Tell that to the Queen’s Guard (and their bear skin hats).

She looks beautiful and strong. I know a kid who was born around 20 weeks and change and she’s a perfectly happy healthy 5 year old now. Good luck, the odds get better every day. Thank god we have all this amazing technology and hospitals and doctors and nurses.

I swear in a modern world where men never have to test themselves fighting bears or battles capitalism has stepped in as a kind of artificial masculinity. It’s funny because these are just the kind of over emotional guys who would have run in and been eaten or killed immediately.