I know a family where all the boys are named after guns. Deringer, Winchester, etc. This is still worse, because at least those are spellable.

I dislike them on principle (because ew), but also just because they're not very entertaining to me. I like it when assholes get publicly humiliated or when the revenge is particularly clever. I know the server probably got a kick out of it, but as a reader I get no satisfaction from the knowledge that this horrible…

That skirt. I want it.

Oh, don't worry, he has a woman to do that for him.

Oh my god. I want these so I can wear them every goddamn day.

They are so pretty.

God dammit, Burt, I've been steadfastly refusing to recognize that this day was coming. I know I still follow you on Twitter (and favorited, like, all of your tweets from the bus this morning #sorrynotsorry) but I'll miss seeing you around here because you're actually the best.

What I want to know is how you broach this subject with someone you've just met. "So I know we've only known each other for a few hours, but I'd like to try to fall in love with you, hopefully that's not weird." Maybe it's just my constant fear of rejection and general tongue-tiedness around guys I like, but I'm just…

That dolphin gif. I'm dying.

Next: Taylor Swift trademarks the odd mix of shame and joy that I get when singing along to the "This Sick Beat™" section of "Shake It Off."

I don't think she does. I think she's probably just using it as a sort of album slogan?.

she just isnt into your oppressive grammar rules jeez

I've heard* that he's kind of elitist/arrogant and not really as great a person as he seems on paper/online. Which is sad, because I really like his work too. I imagine him as kind of like the literary Benedict Cumberbatch.

I know this is a joke, but let's be real here, literally killing the entire Jez staff would not be particularly out of character for her either.

Poor Meredith. Forgotten so soon in favor of her younger sibling.

So! This is not quite my story, but it's still terrible.

I'm guess:

Update: I have suddenly realized that she's probably just HOLDING the balloons and they're floating behind her head, not actually attached to it. I am not nearly as excited about this now.

"Fuck this. France is too good for this bullshit."