@jduffy13: This kind of intervention is clearly against the grain of capitalism. But sometimes the right thing to do is amputate the gangrenous limb in order to stave off death from the rest of your body. In this case, do the anti-capitalist and prop up this automaker so that its downfall doesn't bring with it the…

I. LOVE. WOJDYLA.

I was driving down the Hutchinson River Parkway once when I noticed a van stuck in the mud next to an exit ramp. Turns out it was a church bus full of Chinese girls who'd driven straight through the curved exit ramp. Using one of the bus's seatbelts attached to its front sway bar, and another good samaritan's F-250,…

For number one, you forgot a very important benefit - you'll be prepared for the zombie apocalypse!

@A stʁolling playeʁ: Troll.

BMW M Contours from the E36 M3, CSLs from the E46 M3, OZs from the Lamborghini Diablo.

This guy has nothing on Wheel Cat.

Nomination for Most. Useless. Post. Ever.

What we really need is a Jalopnik Photo Contest - which creative, resourceful Jalop can come up with the most garrishly modded car.

@Syrax: Shouldn't that be "The Pug"?

E36 M3 was Angelina

@dirtyjerseysti: Haha. Heart click for you.

I'm sure there's a joke in here about how they could smell their prey - a female driver - from a mile away.

@the good dr zero: It IS a staight cut sequential. Additionally, the upshifts are so fast because it has a no-lift shift system. The driver keeps his foot on the throttle, a strain gauge on the shifter detects that he's about to upshift, the ECU retards the engine timing very briefly to remove pressure from the gear…

Because I take life one quarter mile at a time.

Am I the only one who was worrying about the nicks those girls must have been making in the clearcoat, and the damage their stilettos must have been doing to the interior?

I see Taurus front, A5 rear.

@MyDragonLovesBruce - now with witty suffix!: Oh wait... 5 HP shop vac brings the total to 770 HP!

M3 ~ 330 HP

That's not an M5. It's a chessy-ass, normal E39 (probably a 528 or something originally) with an M5 bumper and stick-on side-grills. They didn't even bother getting the right mirrors.