Um...guys...it's not okay to point and laugh at other peoples' bodies. I'm the last person in the world to be all "what about the men!1!!1!" and I generally have close to zero sympathy for penis anxiety, but the way people are reacting to this is fucking gross and really, really surprising for Jezebel. There are…

Literally any of us who sit at our shit desk jobs commenting on sports would give almost anything to be an NFL-level player of any quality - even a benchwarmer - for one game - let alone be someone as good as him.

I am a good white person. ... And do you know what? I don't see a need to apologize for it.

Keep trying, folks. You've almost got the Hengjavik.

"Techno"

I struggle with this a little because that's the stance I'd take on almost any other situation like this. The reason I don't in this case is because I think Bronies like it because its a simplified and palatable presentation of girls, made less threatening and less real, but still easy to support because they are…

Except there's also an element of sexism to Bronies' protestation that it's NOT a show meant for little girls, it's SO MUCH COOLER THAN THAT. And there's a shit-ton of sexism in the way Bronies frequently act.

Woah, they did put a F-Zero ship in the game.

Mark, will you have a shit baby with me?

(Cuteness? Acting ability? Pure insanity?)

I would watch that Top Gun sequel if it was about how Goose was a ghost and haunted the shit our of Maverick everyday, by like surprising him on the toilet and whatnot. But Maverick just got used to it really fast and then it became an odd-couple type story and at the end they learned to get along after they went on…

I was just telling my fiancé that we should use the rest of our wedding fund for this. The chance to meet LeVar and wear THE VISOR from TNG is a way better experience than a dumb wedding.

let's be clear though — Sterling is very unpopular so this is kinda like banning A-rod while other more lovable offenders might be winked on by

past rare.

Free Speech Night is off to a rousing start.

Keep in mind Sheik kinda sucked in brawl. Hopefully they make her much stronger in this game just like in melee

Big deal, I've a seen a scantily-clad Frenchman crammed into a bear at least half a dozen times at the Folsom Street Fair.

Schlub frontman alpha male, period, full stop.

Anyone who picked Franzia over Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA, GET OUT. 90 Minute is the Nectar of the Gods.