I hate the final theory because it comes from the same brain that does clickbait “dark” interpretations of children’s cartoons and the ending is always some kind of illusion or forever loop. It’s a meme at this point and completely boring. it’s what Mass Effect fans resorted to when they couldn’t handle the outrage of…

As a non-Clevelander who loves Cleveland, yet remains mostly unaffected by the Browns’ perennial loserdom, yet has a soft spot for the team so that their loserdom grates nonetheless: don’t do this.

I think I’ve found someone to fill the Caity Weaver-shaped hole in my life, determined by doing the “wondering who the hell wrote this midway through the column” maneuver three times in rapid succession. The Bill Simmons warmed me up, The Superman made me bang my desk with a mostly internal whoop, and now this…

I had a friend from Seattle come visit over the weekend and he talked about how they wanted their Supersonics back so bad, as I looked at a semi-rundown-but-not-tragic house thinking how it was gonna get condo-scrubbed because this city had to fight to hang on to a team that has sucked for 90% of 30 years.

That episode now threatens to blight the one thing about his mayoral reign that most townies agreed was a positive.

hee hee hee

I’ve been hollering this argument with varying degrees of articulation that fell well short of the smackdown gifted to me this morning (Goth Winklevoss, Darth Zimmerman!), and I thank you.

This is sad and weird and the best excuse going for it is “Oh yeah, like the rich deserve any personal dignity!!”

I get asked sometimes why I'm not loud&proud about it and I tell them it's because male feminists don't say that shit out loud if they're not either creepy or vaguely pathetic. Like:

Aside from any of this I really wonder what's got non-column people thinking they're owed a few pat phrases so badly that they can't help but get upset when he refuses to perform according to plan, especially when he looks like he's having an anxiety attack half the time. It's not like we don't know what's coming:

If you need consent to be the gross animal you are in front of the ONE person you entrust the most of yourself to, then you don't really have an intimate relationship and one of you needs out, because I'd feel bad for that facsimile.

Rude. To the person you've ostensibly entrusted every ugly, unlovable, crude, and weird impulse with, and that they'd still ostensibly love you for. That masturbating in their proximity is rude.

Anyone else go through each name and attempt to do their characters one by one or is that just me

Context.

Having been kept away by large eyes and stupid stories for what feels like forever, I've been slowly getting comfortable with the idea of watching anime again. First it was Attack on Titan, then Knights of Sidonia...

Man. That's one of those jokes where you laugh, and turn to see if other people are laughing, but they're not laughing, so you laugh harder, and everyone is embarrassed.

Nnnnnnnnnah I always made fun of them because of the fevered desire to "acquire" "friendship" by making the concept as infantile as possible, creating a space where people can take the shortcut and feel entitled to a familiarity they haven't earned, just to feel socially accepted somewhere. It's sad as fuck and I have…

Ho-leee shit.

Holy shit shut the fuck up.

I also suspect that this kind of fake class is coveted for reasons of distinguishing "America's sport" from the more, uh, urban lack of forced humility in basketball and football. It's still the good ol boys sport, and they're not about to act like a bunch of monkeys out on the field.