The fact that I’m being PENALIZED for being HORNY FOR JOHN KRASINSKI is an absolute DISGRACE and this is WHY Gawker needs to UNIONIZE

"Your job is to serve us and do what we say. You're not supposed to talk back."

I know, right? It makes life so much easier to just assume that something might go a teensy bit wrong and plan for it.

Dude, marry that wonderful man. AGAIN.

Jumping straight from no-kissing to first kiss and first fuck seems sort of alarming for everyone involved.

My wedding dress, which I had made, straight up did not fit. The woman who made it cut it about 2 sizes to small after the final fitting (I tend to remember her saying it needed to be taken in about an inch, then she scribbled down some notes and when the dress arrived it was suddenly tiny!). The zipper popped off as…

I built the dance floor, pitched the giant tent, and set up the tables and chairs for the reception with three other groomsman and one of the bride's brothers before the ceremony. Terrible? Really?

I got married in 1985. The hair was big, and the dresses were bigger. Think Princess Diana. Yikes. Anyway, my voluminous dress had an equally voluminous slip. Around the bottom of the slip were several strips of lace. You would think, considering how expensive the damn thing was, that it would be well made. You…

Voting for Shang

• Around $75,000

Your last sentence is what I've been mulling over for the past 3 years. I don't know that the *potential* to regret not having a child is a reason to have one. I have stopped short of writing down a list, but when brainstorming reasons to have children, a lot of them revolve around "my mother would love to be a…

Right?? I have the worst poker face in the northern hemisphere and even I know how to say "it's perfect / looks amazing on you" and mean it. Plus, there's always the whole "congratulations on planning for the rest of your life" that you can focus on if you can't do that.

When my husband and I got engaged, we didn't immediately tell his parents because we wanted to do it in person. When we told them, and his mom learned we had been engaged for three weeks and she didn't know, she did a complete 180, going from someone who for years asked us when we would get married to all of a sudden…

RIGHT???!!! Bitchy suburban mommy bloggers, that's who. Damn mloggers. And what's worse, I'm sure my ring was STILL in the range that correlates with higher divorce rates. It's just not, like, the biggest ring EVER. It's NORMAL. Which also makes me think: my fiancé is a 1%-er (half of it goes to his ex-wife, so we…

You should have an I Thee Dread Pissing Contest: Cheapest Wedding. But seriously, I'd love to hear from people who had expensive weddings. I'm curious to know where all the money goes.

Don't you just have to pay 10% to a bail bondsman? Is that how it works? I basing this on Stephanie Plum so I could be wrong.

Just imagine if all black athletes refused to play for racist fans, owners and institutions. Just about every major sports league would crumble to the ground and we might finally have found our solution to ending racism.

When we were shitty little kids, my mom sat us down and enthusiastically said, "Let's make a list of all your favorite things! What are your most favorite toys and your favorite things to do?" After we excitedly told her these things and she wrote them down, she put the list on the fridge and said, "Now, next time you…

Absolutely. Their little heads get all confused, they can't help it sometimes. Our rule was, tantrum all you like, but take it to your room, we're trying to watch Chopped. We had maybe 10 tantrums total.

Fill them with existential dread that their lives are meaningless when they misbehave?