When Christmas took Chanukkah, I did nothing, because I was not Jewish.

I had a mini-meltdown over a shitty client today (I work at a personal injury law firm), but I'm going to resolve myself to complain about them less. Are my clients stupid and often mean? Yes. Do they have unreasonable monetary expectations re: their claims? HELL YES. Do I still get to take 30% of their…

I was in about the same place as my wedding approached. I considered focusing on losing weight for about a minute until people started jabbering on about how much I should try to lose and how to do it. That put me right off the idea and I said "fuck it".

You guys don't forget this gem. Description reads "My wife trying to order Taco Bell after the reception." I didn't know my soulmate could be a woman ...

I hate all of this diet talk.

I am a BRCA1 Mexican-American woman who just turned forty. My twin died of breast cancer in March. I did about five years of close monitoring after my BRCA test turned up positive, but had a mastectomy and hysterectomy a couple of years back. It feels great to take back those hours I know I would have spent worrying…

"Sigh, I get older, he stays the same age. Come on Dad you're drunk."

That's funny. So they've gone from actively wooing us to dismissing our opinions entirely?

Jan deserved a big movie career, certainly as big as Rob Schneider's fucking [career].

My boyfriend and I used to have disagreements like that every time we shopped together. It finally got into his head though that I'm always going to want to buy, say, the local, organic milk from grass-fed cows instead of the bargain stuff, and he decided that the extra dollar was not worth how upset the argument over…

Never go grocery shopping together. Just go alone. Srsly. The man will claim, if he's in the store with you, that he cares about which groceries you buy, but in actuality, he will eat whatever you get. So save yourself the frustration and arguments over whether you'll have chicken or fish, and enjoy a little quiet…

True, however how many men's magazines have the overall theme of, "Hey, you kinda suck. Here's how to fix it." which seems to be the genre that all women's magazines fall into.

"if she needs controversy to sell her album I'm glad I could help" is my favorite. It's both shade and a fantastic self compliment.

So as the top dog on the Shade court, does that make you Ruth Shader Ginsburg?

You know, I'm beginning to suspect that Dr. Luke might not even be a real doctor.

The only right answer is to fuck Anderson Cooper, marry Neil Patrick Harris, and kill Andy Cohen. I believe these are self-explanatory so I won't bore you with my reasoning.

If it is her, I am glad that she has been found, though saddened at her death. As an atheist I cannot pray for her to have a wonderful afterlife, but may she fertilize the most beautiful flowers.

I was meant to read this in Julia Sugarbaker's voice, right?

Since I've switched from a male to a female boss, I definitely miss being told I'm being 'combative' when I respectfully bring up issues while my male coworkers could literally scream at him and 'that's just disagreements, we move past it'. Oh wait, I don't miss that at all.

I've actually commented about this on another article but my friends little sister, who is 12 years old, broke up with someone in the most hilarious and hardcore way ever. Like never in a million years would I be this clever and I am an adult. She apparently went up to her then boyfriend and said "Want to see a magic…