But the LEGO doesn’t work with my GI Joe and Star Wars figures. I need to be able to have Joey and Snake-Eyes use the Millennium Falcon to rescue Ross from the TerrorDrome.

It’s gotta suck for Aniston to even be capable of developing her own perspective about age, about being a woman, about not having babies, about marriage. Millions of people have been either yelling at her or demanding answers about this shit for more than two decades. I’d literally burn some shit down if I spent two…

Which is worse?

“Critics find her...” is code for a rhetorical construct created by those who fear her very strength. Warren doesn’t lack charisma; to the contrary, she’s got it in abundance, and that’s precisely why this canard is repeated constantly - to convince people that they’re not seeing the very qualities they are seeing.

Didn’t he make those little figgy cookies?

“ I have two dogs. They could have died.” is my go to response for everything now.

Can we get a list of deal sealers as well? (Ugh. Now that I type that, I realize there probably isn’t a good way to state that without probably resorting to cliches.)

I was sucking on a Werther’s Original and I almost just died, thanks.

Wow, first Missy drops a new album and now this guy’s dead? This has been a pretty solid birthday so far.

To be fair, the word “jesus” comes out of my mouth pretty much every day when I am confronted with Trump’s daily dump of absurdity and ugliness.

What we really need, is more tap breakdowns.

I used to be bothered by bad spelling, until I did an English degree and learnt that standardised spelling is a fairly recent innovation. Language is a constantly evolving thing, changing and developing to meet the communication needs of its users. English in particular is a glorious mutt of a language, which is why…

You know, at least when Hamlet was beefing with the rulers of Denmark, he had the decency to die at the end.

Narrator: sadly, they were not fucking kidding.

I really like Control.

You have D List dyslexia!

My filming story - I used to work in the CAA building when they filmed Entourage there. I was a a junior employee that had to go get coffee for people on the first floor. So I get about 12 cups in carriers and head back to the elevator. It comes and as I am about to go in, this woman blocks me (causing coffee to spill…

“Big Rally tomorrow night in Orlando”