Yeah, I was wondering that myself. In fact, this whole thing has confused me. Don’t these people have freezers? If rent is so high in New York, how is a single person able to eat out every night, much less have someone bring it to her? Does she live in an alley? What kind of budgeting is one doing when she is…

I thought it was based on Santa Mira.

What I’ve started doing lately is both cheap as hell and not that bad for me (I think). I bring:

Well, it’s probably for the best :)

You know, the whole “everyone on reddit is a terrible person” thing is really wearing thin. Are the people helping others with depression, or offering personal loans, or giving advice, or teaching foreign languages creepers and upskirt fans?

This story was a lot more interesting when I thought it was just about some guy online named Larry giving out legal advice. :(

It’s probably unnecessary at this point to suggest that this probably would have turned out differently had this knob not been white. But I’m going to do it anyway.

This much I’m certain of: it doesn’t happen immediately. You’ll finish [the book] and that will be that, until a moment will come, maybe in a month, maybe a year, maybe even several years. You’ll be sick or feeling troubled or deeply in love or quietly uncertain or even content for the first time in your life. It…

Stand up really quickly, dragging almost everything on the table to the floor. Then, in a loud voice say, “And the flowers are still standing!”

First and foremost: Dave Berry once wrote (I paraphrase because I’m lazy), Don’t ever ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you can see the baby emerging at that very moment. This is a rule to live by, and one that will never lead you astray.

As an American, let me assure you that your blood pressure doesn’t need that kind of aggravation.

Shit yeah—over $100k in 1 day. That is the way it is done.

I am not one to judge anyone’s cool. In fact, if I like something, you should probably avoid it.

So that’s 7 gallons of 200 proof liquor? or 14 gallons of 100 proof?

Now y’all are gonna make me cry.

Nevermind that if skinny jeans were truly a health hazard, people would be collapsing on sidewalks every day.

Umm...a group of robins is a flock, not a gang.

I guess I am one of the unwashed masses. I didn’t realize “pre-bussing” was even a thing. When a member of the wait staff asked if I was done with my plate and would like them to take it out of my way, I assumed it was because they wanted to see if I wanted it out of my way. I have never considered it an attempt to…

This whole thing is like that scene from A Guide for the Married Man—Deny, deny, deny. (Sorry for the shitty quality)