Harsh words from the original broad football player

"That's one pretty big kitchen!"

"You're excited?! Feel these pupils!"

Sure, signing a guy for 2 days is a nice gesture, but the Cavs actually used their #1 overall pick on another guy like this!

Gassie

Argentina's old-fashioned insistence on stone-throwing as the primary method of execution rears its' ugly head.

Roger Goodell made $44.2 million in 2013

Finishing fourth in an Olympic event has to be one of the worst feelings an athlete can experience.

Hi, layperson here. NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT A SILVER PLATTER IS.

Sharper denies the charges, and claims that he ...has no idea who the other is.

<b>...Eats It, Gets Up and Finishes To Huge Applause</b>

He says he can't stomach this shit; his restaurant choices indicate otherwise.

Ah shit, caught me!

"Serious sports injuries to the uterus or ovaries are extremely rare."

Last night's 32 points were a career high

"Coincidentally, downhill skiers have gotten a lot faster since the start of the race." - Matt Lauer

Close, but no blunt.

Elton John: Don't worry, Michael, it gets bett-

As expected, not a single reference to Rocky 4. YOU CAN'T DENY THE PAST!

For what it's worth, this is from the Kentucky High School All-State choir competition.