A Michigan Man apparently doesn’t have the guts to follow through with his death threats, thankfully.

Crazy how SNL is finally a little funny when they bring on an actual funny person.

How is this in the greys, fam?

He misjudged it so badly, he couldn’t even get himself in position to make an error.

Hear, hear.

History’s greatest poopyfaces:

Whoa buddy, a little warning next time before bringing a radioactive hot take around here like that.

And what incredible heights Ronaldo carried Portugal to in the last World Cup.

Found myself at Warpigs in Copenhagen a few weeks ago. Didn’t know a 3 Floyds/Mikkeller brewpub-barbecue joint existed before that day, but it’s my personal heaven.

Ok, let’s give Austinites 72 hours (because we presume you don’t want to stop in Oklahoma or Arkansas) to get out of Texas before its hurled into the sun.

Thanks for stopping by!

Appropriate use of “fag”: Asking for a cigarette in England, I guess, but I think they’ll know what you mean when you say cigarette.

“Whoa hey. I know we’re the scum of the Earth and we all deserve to be thrown into an active volcano, but comparing us to Stephen A. Smith? That’s cold.”

Crony: Wow, Money, IronMikeGallego really read you the riot act again.

That’s why he wrote “Thanksgiving and Christmas” ... when you see extended family like, I dunno, your sister-in-law.

For fuck’s sake, can people please stop getting worked up over what they deem to be “classy?” I know I’m reading the thoughts of an old white man who needs a nap (or somebody regurgitating old white nap-needing man’s thoughts) when I see that stupid goddamn meaningless word.

Take away all the goals that should have been called offside, and Spurs beat City 2-0 in an absolute romp.

Week 2 killed a lot of suicide pool dreams. All 12 people in my office pool picked incorrectly — and we did so with four different teams, not just all crapping out with the Colts. Since we ALL fucked up, we decided to give everyone a mulligan and keep playing.

Hey Jeremiah, it’s “Doctor Who.” His name is the Doctor, so that’s not really his title, and ... OH THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!

Yes, and the “Deflator” was just losing weight. And he just happened to destroy his cell phone the same day the NFL asked for it. Got it.