Dear tabloids,

"With hires I good bleacher report gooder writer man wand welcomb Howard Buck to site with slidshow of he best storys."

You can probably run a post about how Bo Pelini is fucking Cindy Lange-Kubick because she seems awfully hurt that you're making such a big deal about such a non-story like a coach telling his team's fans to fuck off.

You did WHAT to kittens? That's freaking sick.

All you olds might as well be yelling "Get off my lawn" LOL. I guess you can't remember when you were teens & breaking into people's homes, trashing the place & stealing memorials to their dead grandchildren.

The dumbest part of this is that AMC decided this was the best way to go because the numbers for Breaking Bad have been so good. So the lesson learned here, when the 2nd set of Mad Men eps come out everyone needs to DVR them & wait at least a week before watching them so AMC receives the message loud & fucking clear…

I see their point, most of these teams just don't have the budget to pay for alternate helmets they'll only wear once or twice a season. Even if they did, how could they possibly construct a staff of equipment people that could have brains deep & complex enough to handle making sure helmets fit properly. What…

So does this also mean we're a couple years REMOVED from the peak era for any babies named Yahoo Serious _____?"

"Two words...JEW BLOOD." -Mel Gibson pitching a movie about 30 minutes from now.

An enduring symbol of Bud Selig's intuitive skills & his reign as commissioner of MLB.

The issue with the lag from install is related to having to read from two sources on the same drive, no? So wouldn't having them be one source fix that particular problem?

Well, wouldn't it be about disc space then?

Just for laughs Rockstar should have offered to release the game on a single HD-DVD.

At least they didn't go with a sad faced emoticon I guess.

The Sex

They honored that request by not shooting the black player on field during the brawl.

New Deadspin feature suggestion, "Fictional Breaking News", you could do stuff like Thursday Tweet & post about "Redskins bench RG3...for Grossman". Make the introductory paragraph very clear that it's in a series of fictional sports stories...see how many of these knee-jerk Twitter morons you can set off in a rage &…

How To Pee

I'd feel like shit for not playing him today, but my league doesn't score Statistics Lines 2 or 3 anyway.

He might not even have to make the hospital visit #5 if it's not his wife giving birth to his 2nd son too.