Being from Nebraska my favorite is the "cropduster". A nice silent but vile fart that you trail along through a group of people.

Not pictured: John Kruk's prosthetic testicle.

@whiskerbrisket: I thought I had a decent joke but just couldn't get a glove on it so I decided to throw it out there, switch it up, and say that you guys don't have a leg to stand on after these bad puns.

@mmitch1111: So how is the store that you manage doing?

I'm not black enough for either

@Daveinva: Did the Browns draft Texas's clock guy too?

@zekestone: "looks like nothing else" The Chevy HHR is on line 1 for you.

@Brando: +0% state income tax. I'm tired of LeBron talk.

@PallidaMors: I am an engineer at a coal plant. We use a LOT of oil. Ignition oil is used on all unit startups. And we use thousands of gallons at a time.

@J.L. White: I think the stadium deal had a little something to do with it. It's the State of Washington's fault you lost your team.

@J.L. White: Damn him for being a Capitalist and taking advantage of an opportunity presented him by the bumbling lawmakers in Washington.

@wild7s: You realize they are called Hemis for a reason right? The hemispherical head. Not to mention the brand heritage. Marketing is a pretty important part of sales, and when it isn't just a "gimmick" it builds brand loyalty.

@MattorShirley: He has openly spoken about how he wants to be a billionaire. This is just more marketing. He is furthering the LeBron brand by doing this.

Your 2010 MLB All-Star from the Kansas City Royals.

@DreamyVelvet: Next... Tubesteak and gravy

@kookla: zing?

I have to work today so the people of Omaha can have fucking electricity. Fuck air conditioning and lightbulbs, I want to eat, drink, and burn things.

I used to play Chase HQ at the bowling alley while my parents bowled... that was a great game.

@UkraineNotWeak: A Pole, a Turk, and a Black Guy walk into a German locker room...

Has Will ditched the Emo bangs for Bieber bangs yet?