Maybe he didn’t die, but he MUS have lost a LIM.

El es fiesta.

Obviously, there are no sesame seeds on the bun. Totally different.

Private Joker’s son always paid close attention when his father told stories from the war.

Only if you are a Ronaldo apologist that believes Messi is wildly overrated and that his “media darling” status keeps him in the same discussion as one of the greatest to ever play. Otherwise, your comparison insults Messi.

The kid is from Bayville, New York, a tony, north shore, Long Island village. Kids from Bayville rarely hear the word “no.” It’s even more rare for a kid from Bayville to accept it as a response to whatever the fuck they have demanded.

“...no reclining.”

No. If anyone on that field had a “histrionic” response on Saturday, it was Costa. Gabriel’s red card was as much the product of Costa’s tantrum about the “stomp” as the “stomp” itself. For a guy that sees no issue with dishing out physicality, he sure cried a river over suffering something far less malicious.

Can we please get Kimmel to promise that Phil Hartman will be at next year’s Emmys?

Do you know that the response “Good Kinja” means? Were you around “pre-kinja” to appreciate the reference. I sure as shit don’t remember you, so why don’t you sit the next few plays out, rook.

Then, by definition, that bird is not cool.

If Draft King’s paid more than a dollar, Berry took them for a ride.

...and yet the kid from Lake Highland beat his ass.

Still got out of the blocks better than Greg.

No. That’s not what he did.

Immediately following the celebration, Heathcott was placed on the 7 day concussion DL.

Fire again. Aim for his fivehead.

Is there one incident that occurred after you left Deadspin that caused you to think “Man, I wish I was still at Deadspin for this” because you either couldn’t cover it wherever you were, or because you could have covered it differently here?

DP said last week that he’d consider returning to ESPN if he was allowed to publicly fire one producer. Can we assume that he was referring to Norby?

It’s part of the Colts’ new “fan experience” where you can get concussions, just like the players.