@Steve U: Mark Fuhrman's grand jury testimony just writes itself, doesn't it?

O'Neal jersey. Stockton shorts. Novitski hair.

@CharmeleonWithAttitude:

Jonah Keri has written a pretty definitive take on arm injuries in baseball and how the Rangers will have less of them than your team .

Most impressively, James didn't earn his infamy by committing some horrible transgression, like killing dogs, breaking up a marriage, raping a hotel spa employee and paying her off to avoid spending a decade in state prison or starring on a VH1 show.

@Arthur_Digby_Sellers: Well I'll say, that lady should really tuck her vagina back into her shorts. It's unseemly.

Knowing how the Patriots operate, Bill got that nose pick and two other nose picks in 2011 for his 2010 "dewedgie" ass pick.

Once it is determined which trees and shrubs can survive the move we have them bagged, tagged and relocated.

@GoodyTwoFace: I always found it a bit ironic that my proctologist is such an asshole.

@ScientificMapp: Sent from your iPhone

@Tulos_Mullet: Perfectly stated.

How dare Joey Votto try to hit a line drive up the middle in an 8 run game? We must throw at each of his teammates until we hit not less than four.

@Paolo.Lex: Actually, once you start spouting off about your physique in the middle of a thread about whether God exists, you've lost.

That Dooley sounds like he'd be a fungi at parties.

@EddieSuttons SouthernComfort: I have to admit, I'd be drinking if Jerry Van Dyke's name came up in a game of "Dead or Alive." I could have sworn he kicked it years ago.

Just because you trim the 'stache and rock Rambis-specs doesn't mean that we won't recognize you DAULERIO.

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: Hey, if they built a Metrodome in your brother's honor, you'd have self-esteem issues too.

@AzureTexan: KATIE COURIC

@UkraineNotWeak: The vomiters and gropers are the lucky ones. Some just get their shit lit up by Marvin Harrison's "associates."

Dandy Koufax is only 26? Fuck, I'm old. Next thing you know, David Hume will announce that he's under 50.