Sorry, but I already have enough problems feelings eternally obligated to serve my mom. I absolutely do not want to live in a society in which I can never get to leave the the maternal home and my partner has to sneak in at night. Any way i can have the gender equality without the stifling family obligations?

Aaron Carter is losing his mind right now.

Hilary needs a session with my old ballet instructor, who used to smack your arm (lovingly?) and shout "LOOSEN ZE LIMBS" whenever you looked too stiff.

Like a cyclops with two extra eyes

So I went to one of those super hippy birth classes (for TEN weeks) and they were against everything that doctors normally advise. This would include not eating a lot as you're going into labor, or the day you're to be induced (of course they were against that as well). I ended up being induced at 42 weeks because…

I remember the nurse gently wiping my ass for me while I screamed at my husband, "LOOK AWAY, FOR GOD'S SAKE, LOOK AWAY".

I understand why people would feel like they couldn't talk about this. If we're being honest about feelings here, I honestly felt no sympathy for the women above. To be honest, I saved all my sympathy for their children.

Invisible? I'm gonna commit so many crimes when I'm in my 50s, sweet!

I think dating within 5-10 years of you age is fine. But if some 40 year old bro isn't willing to consider a 45 year old gal, he needs his car to be keyed.

I'm like a fine wine, sons!

I'm only 25, but I surely am more attractive now than I was at 20-22. I can afford adult things, like nice(r) clothes, oh and I can adult too! Huzzah adult-ing!

That paragraph is totally the crux of the issue! Can we just stop hearing about what me like, please?? We get it, we already know you like little girls; this message is driven home to us every day in every movie, TV show, magazine, billboard ad, and artwork ever created by man. We know that women aren't worth a tin…

I'm better-looking at nearly 29 than I was at 22. Whatevs!

Why, they're all around you, everywhere! Throw a stone and you'll hit one!

My gynie doc always asks if I'm sexually active. I say "Not with anyone else."

This is awesome but will sadly never catch on. It's hard enough to get men to regularly use condoms, a penis injection is gonna be a hard sell. Also the name is vasagel, idiots are gonna make so many vagisil and vagina jokes about losing your manhood it'll be doomed from the start.

Black Diamond and Black Pearl

I say it totally counts. Mr. Megoo is very good in the self-control dept, so he frequently just holds off until I get off, and I count that. He's also willing to keep participating afterward if I've got more in me, so hooray.

This totally counts! I've experienced the same thing and, as someone who could get off ONCE A YEAR from any sort of sexual contact prior to my current partner, I thank my lucky stars now. I also thank my stars that he's had a lot of practice before me but has none of the maladies as souvenirs. HUZZAH.