I and my partner would agree with some of the things on the list. But the thing is, they're not individually dealbreakers for us, just peeves. For example, my boyfriend bemoaned the fashion a while back for new jeans that are pre-ripped. I admitted to having worn pre-damaged clothing before. He didn't projectile vomit…

it's clearly A. the list should just be retitled "why I'm better than you", or more accurately "why I'll be alone for the rest of my life"

I was thinking I might actually be suitable for him until this. 1. Fuck you, man. I'll pet all the mystery cats I want until I can get my own emotional support animal. Stroking a good-natured cat for 10 minutes has done more good for my mental health than my doctor ever has. 2. I am the Queen of Parasitology. You…

This guy is going to end up with someone who has such low self-esteem she pretends to agree with him on everything and fakes being his dream girl. When she can't hold it together anymore it'll blow up in both their faces.

That's (one of) the one(s) that jumped out to me too. Really, you consider being happy on the same level of peeves as being a holocaust denier? Okay, dude, good luck with that.

That shit stuck out. It really should be the opener.

Well, it also says you can't be sarcastic. He is really looking for someone who doesn't speak at all. And also someone with low self-esteem, it feels like. I doubt this would be a good relationship for anyone.

One of his dealbreakers is wearing a fedora...but that could be because he's the only one alllowed?

And then he nodded, satisfied with his list and convinced that he had hit the basic deal-breakers. Then he put on his fedora, went online, and complained that no women ever want to date such a nice guy like him.

It's interesting that this list includes "You consider yourself a happy person." Doesn't that just say it all?

If this guy is in Toronto, I definitely encountered him when I was online dating. And unless there are two guys with almost identical ridiculous lists of dealbreakers, this is definitely that Torontonian. My brush with fame.

I haven't even read the list yet but I had to be the first to say: I know Romeo Rose, I flirted shamelessly on the internet with Romeo Rose, and you, sir, are no Romeo Rose.

Amazing. A person who doesn't like people who "belittle" trans people yet in the very next statement writes something that is incredibly belittling to trans people. Holy fucking shit.

here's my sex spreadsheet

I have just given my dogs a stern talking to about stealing credit and acting like only dogs do that. I don't think they understand. They're just looking at the biscuit jar now. Sigh. Dogs.

It seems unfair that canines get all the credit when most quadropeds approach sex in the same way. I guess telling a lady friend that I think we should do it cow-style might send the wrong message though....

18. Doggy style. Just, doggy style. What horrible person invented this?

Yeah, I feel that way, but I did it anyway. And you know what? It's extra-tough to explain why the world is so goddamn shitty to a very smart 9-year-old. I'm afraid she's already a misanthrope, but at least I feel like I'm giving her the tools to improve things. She says she doesn't want to live where we live anymore…

I could easily have written this myself. When I got married, we were both ambivalent about kids, but I think my husband has gotten more interested as I have gotten less. But I do think he will be fine without them.

I can adopt a child and take them into my place of safety and security, and "continue my legacy" and "leave something behind," but regardless, those are absolutely horrible and selfish reasons to have children.