Oh, God. I ended sitting next to a little girl about 7 years old during a violent thunderstorm once. Her parents were a few rows away (in the center row—I think they put her by herself because she desperately wanted a window seat, and once the storm started they couldn’t get up to change seats so she could sit by one…

omgomgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!!!!!!!

Mr Tooty gets on a flight, dressed in business attire. Sits on the aisle. Directly across in the aisle seat a man sits. As the flight takes off, he takes his shoes off and proceeds to pick dead skin off his feet. Grossed out beyond belief, mr Tooty asks a flight attendant if he can move to an empty seat. He gathers…

Yeah I spent the majority of my time in China dehydrated so I would go as little as possible.

Well, hey, when you gotta go...

For the phlegm!

International flight from NYC to Dublin when I was a young child. I insisted on the window seat. The window wouldn’t open for some reason. I tugged and I tugged and finally it slid open... to reveal the window covered in dried vomit. Someone had thrown up there and instead of telling anyone just closed the window. I…

I’m ignoring instructions because I DON’T PLAY BY THE RULES

I have 10 year old twin nephews. They are obsessed with bathrooms and need to check out every bathroom that we pass. We’re on a smaller plane heading home from vacation, when one of them decides that would be a good time to take a long ass dump. He was in there for 15 mins stinking up the plane. A line had formed and…

A family was sitting next to and behind me. I was in the aisle seat, fast asleep. Little kid, maybe 4 years old, comes from sitting with one of his female family members behind me to come to his mom (next to me). As he is coming toward his mom, he takes a moment to puke directly on my lap, while on his way to his mom.

I mean I can’t think about this story without laughing but I imagine others on the plane thought it was awful.

There was this adorable little pigtailed girl who was I feel like around 4 years old...? The plane takes off, and like she looks really nervous all of the sudden and her parents are comforting her and telling…

Ewwwww. I don’t even know what everyone else is going to post, but you win the preliminaries.

I once was flying from DC to Vegas on a Friday, mid-morning. I sat with several strippers. Apparently it’s not uncommon for dancers to fly out to Vegas on the weekend and make a shit ton of money. Anyway, I’m terrified of flying and proceeded to order several bourbon and cokes. My hand was shaking so hard (fear, not…

My flight was delayed when a sober grown man threw up on a flight attendant as we were taxi-ing.

Feet. It is always feet for me. I would rather see blood, guts, vomit, brain ooze falling out of someone’s ear... Feet are THE WORST. I fly economy class a lot, and it is awful for the most part (for various reasons). But I still vividly remember my first upgrade-to-first-class experience. I was so excited.…

I sat through “The Happening”. I couldn’t get to sleep. It was mandatory hell. I still see flashes sometimes.

Seriously though, 11 hours on Brussels Air from Luanda, Angola, to Brussels with a long stop in Kinshasa, replete with endlessly crying and vomiting baby beside me was pretty bad. The father just fucked off to…

TRUTH

Yoko, girl, that is called littering. You should not do that.

HOLY SHIT!!! KOURTNEY IS KIM????

congrats, huck.