...Lady Pythagoras, is that you?!

*raises hand* I have a Portuguese-Mexican last name and kept it when I got married to my Irish-as-fuck-American husband who has no real connection to his last name (crappy childhood, redneck cousin marrying and swapping family). We agreed I’d hyphenate when we have kids to make paperwork and school easier for us (I…

So if something was put in front of her, with indignity and clumsiness, she would not be able to handle it?

“I know I am fully capable of handling anything that is put in front of me”

She can clearly handle anything put in her, too. She just doesn’t know how to get it out.

No Palin is capable of dignity and grace.

Once was in films and it was a gas

Absolutely not. Kids are like Pokemon, you have to collect them all!

Ugh, what a busy summer Kylie’s going to have. She has to send out invites for her 18th birthday party, plan a wedding, make amends with Blac Chyna, and fill out a voter registration card!

Me too. It sounds like a craft beer. Amber Head Lager. (I know nothing about beer. are beer and lager different?)

No, they send her away. Sometimes cats need alone time.

for some reason i always read her last name as Head.

Well...wow, Amber...thank you for reminding us laws are for peasants and the lower-class scum.

Listen, I’m not trying to like this guy but I read shit like this and he wins me over! He is an actual delight!

I <3 you, Johnny Karate.

I don’t think I’ve seen a famous person have so much fun with his fame, in such a genuine and likable way, ever. It must be the age-to-fame ratio. See also: Taraji P Henson, Viola Davis, George Clooney and Idris Elba.

This man is a goddam national treasure!

Well, I just ugly cried through the last 10 min of OINB, so this is just icing on the tear-filled cake.

This fucking guy. He’s enough to melt my cold, bitter, cynical heart.