Normal-looking? I'd like to spend some time walking around Testino's neighborhood, because the normals around here can run a little schlubby.

22 years ago, we had to have blood tests for our marriage license in New Mexico. We were both tested for syphilis, and I was tested for measles immunities.

80 degrees, sitting on my patio. Wish I could send you some sunshine.

My kid only got a 2 on the APUSH exam, so yeah, fuck 'em.

I appreciate their efforts to keep a safe blood supply. I had a transfusion ten years ago. While I wasn't worried about contracting HIV, hepatitis certainly crossed my mind afterwards. Still better than bleeding to death.

I can't give blood because I ate British sourced beef in the 80s. Of course, I donated a couple of gallons of blood before they enacted that rule. Sorry if I gave you Mad Cow Disease.

Shit, I've got to get going on my DAR membership application.

Well, since my parents didn't own a Kennebunkport compound and didn't see to it that I got a fat trust fund, I sure as hell wasn't raised the same as the Bushes, so perhaps Jeb should excuse himself from the next election.

Geraldo goes into every conversation thinking the conversation is about Geraldo.

I loved how he lost his mind when they brought Mike Rowe to narrate instead of him.

Weird bet, right?

Too many people were paying attention to Johnny Damon and Terrell Owens, so Geraldo stripped and wandered around like a put out five year old.

From Celebrity Apprentice

He was so awful on Celebrity Apprentice. His team lost five times in a row, and the boardroom was still just ten minutes of the Donald and Geraldo talking about how great Geraldo is.

It's just pee. It's the unrelenting poop that gets you.

Aw, jeez, she is goddamn precious, isn't she?

It's fine Jennifer didn't invite me. I mean, I'm fine, it's fine.

Tyra reminds me of Romy and Michele.

Still very regular, but boy, has my flow gotten heavier. Blech.

I hope you get to take advantage of the airline and hotel points. I get to sleep in the middle of the bed, and get a free room on Coronado Island. Marriage is good.