What should have been an amusing photo opportunity became an epiphany for Joe. He could no longer resist the call of the open seas. The next day he began growing his beard and ordered every color of turtleneck sweater that J.Crew carried.

Is Neal Brennan throwing that shade at Mrs. Baldwin? (I hope.)

Because chicken coops.

Yeah, do the work. Or copy someone else's crib notes. Either way.

Grinding. That's funny, Idris. That's exactly what I thought of. Damn.

She's worried about Joe keeping up with the girls' busy schedules. I have a feeling their schedules are going to open right up.

In Willow's case, she may need to ignore a few patterns. I see a conspiracy wall with a red string web in her future.

I don't know. She made sure I knew how melanin worked. Apparently, she thought she was throwing us some new concepts.

There's a few balding white men around here that wear their caps backwards in an attempt to fool us.

But feel free to permanently maim a friend, and then give a shrug and absolve yourself by saying, "I guess that was God's plan for him."

That's certainly nice to hear!

Yay, I barely mention my husband in my status updates. Just on our 21st anniversary, and that was only so I could make the joke that our marriage could buy beer. We'll be married forever now.

I quit work to be at home when my kids were little. Once they were old enough that I started to think about returning to work, my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My days switched to caring for kids to eldercare. I wanted to help my mother as much as I could to keep my father at home for as long as we could.

No action, and the dude couldn't even be mad about it.

I'd pay a homeless person to keep my place in line, but still.

It was peer pressure.

Oh, no, it's just a personal boycott after my iPhone 3 was just a miserable brick.

Yeah, how is that, exactly?

Apple ignoring menstruation won't make it go away. If it did, we'd have eliminated periods long ago.

My great-grandfather was named Tecumseh, so I figure I have to be 1/12 Shawnee. But not really.