And little children want to play Candyland with him.

Chris Pratt is so inherently likeable, that strangers were compelled to help him as a young man.

Sometimes we fall into old patterns. I don't if Brandi would cackle with glee or if it would cause her head to explode.

Was Eddie with Scheana Marie?

Trump wants us to imagine a conversation between him and Tim Cook on the 16th green, but it was more like him annoying a 20 year old at the Genius Bar.

Paula Deen - It's not a good thing.

As long as I have Martha, I have no need for Paula. But, butter? Butter can always stay.

They were doing their job, then.

My grandfather used to say, Montana is sure spoiled, but you don't even notice it, until you say no.

Yeah, I'm borrowing your remix. Thanks.

It took me a while to figure out she was speaking English. I thought she was Slavic at first.

Bloody hell, I hope George doesn't ask for a gaming system for Christmas. Maybe Jeeves will play with him.

I was seeing Harry Hamlin. I think they went to the same chin guy.

She's lost so much weight, she's just eyes and teeth now.

Oh, yeah, I followed them.

Goddamnit, Sugar Bear and I are never single at the same time.

I was not brought up in a spiritual home. When I'm asked about my religious background, I tell people my family spent Sundays at Our Lady of the Perpetual Champagne Brunch. I love me some brunch.

What's grosser than damp pretzels? Damp porn.

Martha throws shade at Gwyneth while ironing antique Irish linen, and then they make boxwood wreaths.

I tell my kids that sex is great when both people come into with the same expectations. But often, it can mean more to one than the other. Then you're either crying into your Ben & Jerry Phish Food, or you're screening your calls.