I think once I'm 81, I'm going to think twice before having elective surgery.

Not even a little.

It also leads to Cathy cartoons where she says, "I'm not overweight, I'm under-tall."

I'm enjoying the blurred out Gifs. So exciting to click and see what I might find. Winchesters!!!!

I'm sensitive to noise. I would have spent three months going, "Do y'all hear that?"

They both have rich kid doucheface.

@AfterlifeK, you will not win this one. Retta owns the internet. You should behave better and stop hanging with Chet Haze.

You know, Kirk, if you insist on this Christian Crusades Redux, don't half ass it.

What the hell, Howard? Heidi and I worked on that all afternoon. You, sir, are a baboon.

Oh, that cat is stoned.

Only when it's not your toddler.

I'm impressed your mom can still fit into her dress. I can't mine. Damn those kids.

Star Jones says, "Bitch, please."

I live in Phoenix. The only way I know it's winter is when Starbucks brings out their red cups.

I call my no-water soy chai latte a muffin in a cup.

You can get peppermint mochas year round, you know.

Boy, that's a pretty girl.

Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays.

Is that a true story? I hadn't heard that, but I approve, if it makes any difference to them.

Goddamnit, if she won't date James Marsden, then I will. Those cheekbones!