No family is safe

This is adorable. Also, bigots? This is what you’re SO AFRAID OF! These two sweet old guys are SO THREATENING, AMIRITE?

i was going to make some jokes and stuff but i can’t. because this was the most spot on fucking shit i have ever read. the white privilege bit? priceless.

My guess is I’d rather be stuck on a plane sitting next to Jane and Goldie than the people who stick their noses in other people’s business.

this is like the opposite of a chocolate pretzel shot.

Tears.

“I’m #3 now! Oi!”

Yes!

“I got interested in her in 2008”

How the meeting should have gone.

True story: some guest’s +1 did this at my cousin’s wedding; it was basically a wedding dress if you married (hah) a little black dress and a wedding dress. Office printer paper white and more lace than the actual bride’s dress—justified, of course, by the fact that the +1 had been married 5 months ago and considered…

I would watch movies where either of these instances were the main plotline, fyi. Or like a Sliding Doors type deal where you saw what happened either way.

There is a way to do it, at my brother’s wedding reception one of his ushers went for a walk in the garden with his girlfriend and proposed and then they didn’t tell anyone about it till the next day. Romantic situation and no one’s thunder stolen.

Hah! After THREE DAYS of being the “Bride & Groom” and the “Center of Attention” at my wedding - the husband and I have given our right legs for someone else to upstage us with a proposal, or even a food fight. We had a traditional indian shindig with smoke belching fires, monotonous chanting, 500 guests, enough…

I was married on a Saturday, flew across the country for my honeymoon on the following Monday. My dad, his fiance, my siblings, and my dad’s siblings all rented a vacation house on an island in our homestate for the rest of the week - fun for them, fun for me. Wednesday night my dad called me to inform me that on…

Anytime my friends and I go to music festivals we play a game called “Find your ass on another person” and it’s SHOCKING how hard it is! I just look for my moms but 10000x’s bigger. god speed Mori

• Find a peach that looks exactly like your butt; eat that peach

Because women are so mean.

Why is masculinity so fragile? I mean I know why, but why?